Perfection is Boring

I know what you're going to say.

I'm either not very good with promises, I totally lost track of time or I am just too lazy to write a proper post.

To be honest, I think I wasn't in the mood to write and I wouldn't want to simply put up a post full of crap just for the sake of updating :)

Anyhow, I am back now and I have some things to write. If you're expecting a happy post about unicorns and rainbows, you'll be dissapointed. This post is sort of happy in a way but not to that extend of course. You'll see.

Things have been pretty crazy these past few months and I honestly think I was going a bit crazy as well. I have to admit that I can be very competitive and kiasu at times. I want to be the best in everything I do. I don't like to settle for less. Being in the background for such a long time, I just really want to earn my limelight moment.

I just want to shine.

I remember I told my friends before that the worst feeling for me is not sadness or anger. It's disspointment. I hate feeling dissapointed and I don't like to dissapoint other people too (so, I'm really sorry if you're expecting posts about rainbows and unicorns :P) Whatever I do, I always want myself to be proud of me, I want other people to be proud of me and that is why I am always pushing myself to the max to achieve that.

The thing is, how are you suppose to react when you know that your best is not good enough? To me, that is very dissapointing. I don't like to be emotional over things but I can't help feeling shitty when this happens. It also doesn't help when I have overly competitive people surrounding me. It made me feel very dumb. It made me feel as if I wasn't good enough. This has been affecting me lately.

I thought long and hard about it. Is this feeling really worth it? I mean, I still have to face reality regardless of whatever I am feeling so why must I be so hard on myself and be so pessimistic about things when I can face reality while being happy and optimistic? Why would I allow people to make me feel dumb when I know that I have already done whatever I can do? So what if they are better than me? I mean what is the point if you are already the best? You can't really learn things if you're already the best. Wouldn't you feel more pressured to maintain that too?

I'm tired of feeling that way and I think it is about time too. Screw them all because as cheesy as this may sound, I feel that as long as I did my best, it is already good enough. I will try not to compare to other people but learn from them instead.

Don't get me wrong. I'll definitely shine but I will shine in my own way.

So, here is to the old carefree me :)

Wye Yee is back, peeps!

PS: If you find this post confusing and contradicting, I beg your pardon because I just really needed a place to vent all this out :)